deep_inside_ma_heart

2010-11-06T08:52:00.003+08:00

T-E-A-C-H

The New profession i'm holding on to.
still coping. still adapting.
just to make that small difference, in the small little ones life.
aint saying that its easy for every little step i take.
some times, i fall hard too.
but i got to get up again, carry on with the baby steps, and try to avoid the same mistakes, so that i wont fall again.
thank You Allah for always being there.
for the wonderful people who's there to constantly give encouragement. :)

But i do miss.
miss that small group of people.(FA :D)
who've made a big difference in my life.
its time for a meet up.
prepare yourself for it ok?*hint hint*
till then, take care! love you guys lots. *hugs*
;)

just a short update. will update soon insya-Allah!

Allah selalu ingat kite. Kite aje yang lupa Allah - a Reminder.

to you, Thank You for always being there :)

Allah, Allah, Allah. Kuat kan lah iman ku. bantu aku dalam mengingati diri-Mu. AllahummaAmin!

"The Best".

2010-07-03T22:56:00.005+08:00

i want to be that SpongeBob of Your Life.

no one is perfect.

we make mistakes. we try to perfect it.

but at the end of the day, we're just trying to be the best.

'The Best'.

i want to be the best.

but it aint as easy as how you spell it.

i want the best for myself.

i want the best for my family.

i want the best for Everyone.

i've come to realise that.

i've not been doing things because i love what i'm doing for the last 18 years.

but i'm doing it cos i feel its the best.

and i've come to a point where i ask myself, " What i Love doing, exactly? "

still chanting the same question.

The Best.

Love Being The Best.

Hate having The Best.

cos Being The Best makes everyone Happy.

but Having The Best at times makes me suffer.

searching...

i've too many concerns.

but the concerns is what completes me.

perhaps Being the best and Having the best, is just 'The Best'.

well, Allah knows best. this IS what i've been through afterall.

i'll leave it all to Him. and i'm sure, I'll be Happy. Always (:

Give and Take.

Less or More.

This or That.

You cant always have everything that's Good. Cos what's negative at times brings out something Positive ;))

World / Dunia. Why are you so complex? :X

btw, the pic was taken from Amalina's blog. thank You for triggering something on me. (:

still here for the both of you, i still am.

love you like how i used to ; never changed.

you are Not alone (:

on a random note: sakura clementi , manhattan fish, its a want, i know. but i'm CRAVING for it! heeee ;D

"Oh Allah, if this is the new journey You've planned for me, then i hope for a smooth journey. a journey full of confidence and passion. a journey full of patience. a journey where everyone can benefit from it. Ya Allah, jangan lah sesekali aku menyusahkan orang lain semasa mengharungi perjalanan yang satu ini. Dan moga Engkau tunjukkan aku jalan yang terbaik. For i know, You wont put me to it if i cant go thru it. tell me, show me signs if this is the best for me. Amin Ya Rabb."

"i.have.visions.visions.of.tomorrow.but.i.aint.sure.if.i'm.able.to.execute.it."

2010-06-04T23:56:00.006+08:00

I Love Them (:

"lets stay true to one another. lets make sure this carries on forever. till marriage comes. till we have our own children. grandchildren hopefully, insya-Allah. if our heart stays together, we'll be strong forever. i dont know what's installed for all of us in the future, but i hope, we'll be together forever, my dear brothers & sisters. lets not lose hope (: "

i've seen it come and go. some stayed true. some just lost it.

i kept silent.
but secretly i cry.
i tried to keep myself composed.
but it didnt get well.
day by day.
i waited.
for time to heal everything.

replaced.
loved.
hugs.
listening ear.
pricked.
personal.
problems.
time.
open.
misses.
close.
smiles.
laughters.
clues.
if only things was alright, then it wont be this hard.

miserable.
job.
money.
seperation.
pain.
hurt.
tears.
heartbreaks.
fights.
strong.
Allah. Ya Allah. Ya Allah.
sembuhkan lah.
berikan aku kekuatan.
subahanAllah! masya-Allah!

maybe the way you see me have changed. i leave it to you. its in your hands. you told me everything. you said it was your fault. but i saw some of mine which you've pointed out along the way. i'm sorry for neglecting you if that is what you feel. i thought things used to be what it is before. and there wasnt any problems to it. i just wonder why things changed. maybe you've beared with me for a long time. that's why. i know, everything was for me. it was for me to see and understand. from the bottom of my heart, i'm sorry if i've hurt you in any way. truly am. dont get me wrong. dont get me wrong. i still love you the same *hearts*

i have so much to say, but i dont want to hurt. Oh Allah, take it away from me. to You, just You, i turn to. i'm removing it, to make sure that its just you that i turn to. heal it Oh Allah. help me. Forgive me if i've hurt their hearts, Oh Allah! lembutkan hati mereka agar mereka dapat memaafkan diri ini juga :'(

i've kept things from you & everyone else, cos its too personal. cos some things are not meant to be shared.cos its only meant for me. do you understand? dont make me cry will you? oh, forgive me! :(

Allah. Allah. Allah. Allah. sesungguhnya Engkau maha mengetahui apa yg terbaik buat hambaMu. Berilah petunjukMu. Alhamdulillah diatas segala nikmatMu. SubahanAllah.

2010-04-29T00:34:00.003+08:00

Well, i must say that, i truly miss all the people who've entered my life. Even if its for a short while. i miss those moments. i miss the time we spent together. at times i tear over things. i tear for you. cos those beautiful memories are just too good that, i wish it can come back. but what's done cant be undone. yes, time change. people change. but have you asked why they change? we make decisions in our life. we try to make the best for not us, but for everyone around us. well, the word is, we tried. its for nothing but the best. we make decisions for a reason. and things happen for a reason. at times, its beyond our control. we're just human beings afterall. things are just too much to handle at times.

u-n-d-e-r-s-t-a-n-d-i-n-g.

i dont wish for you to go.

i dont wish for this to end.

cos i believe we can still make something out of this and mend things.

let's just forget about what have happened, whether we realise it or not.

and start to let things be like how it used to be.

I Miss You :(

2010-04-24T08:25:00.002+08:00

tears fall ; sensitive.

i'm avoiding ; yes i do.

cos i was just trying ; but did it help?

i'll be there ; but am i needed?

help ; "just doing my job" ?

be the best ; " but not everyone likes you being the best " ?

leave ; if not needed anymore.

just be You ; and that will do wonders.

well for now, I'm fine. On my Own.

Friends, just make sure that you dont get cheated into doing things that you aint like or you least expect. Money is not everything. and Money is NOT = "Bring You Far". a Simple Life does not mean having to worry about nothing. But its about having equal shares of everything. Hardships, Happiness, Love, Hate and everything else. Dont let Money blind your eyes and Rule you. "Harta Dunia bukan segalanya" :))

" Run. Fly. Isolate. "

well, i think i have issues with humans. No? :O

2010-04-09T00:15:00.002+08:00

baby i just love you so, sweeeeettt! *kisses* :)

well, that's how cute Nur Zara Qaireen as of this month. look, she can smile now! ohh, so sweet! wished i'm right beside her. ahh. i miss her smell. i miss her giggles early in the morning.she's my alarm clock.best of all, i miss her GEBU CHEEKS! heh. awww, misses! ;D

08 April 2010:

-----------------

- " Stress can never leave us. understanding is what needed to overcome everything :)"

- " Departure of a few buddies to Pahang. Have a safe trip :) "

- "A surprise call from Mr Shah Rizal. buddy you dont know how muchh you poly friends are missed. you seriously made my day just by that one single call. i'm still remembered? i'm seriously touched. i miss, i miss, Shah Rizal, Rashidee, Fatin, Dan, Natasha, Luqman, Zaidah. i miss them all. Thank You for still being there. For all your concern. ahh. i miss you so :( "

Buddy, Congratulations for getting through! Alhamdulillah! super happy for you :))

- " Less workload. "

- " Tiada Tuhan melainkan Allah. Allah itu Esa tidak beranak dan tidak diberanakkan. Hanya pada Allah, tumpuan setiap makhluk untuk meminta sesuatu. Tiada orang yg serupa dengan Allah S.W.T. "

09 April 10:

---------------

- " Munching on Kinder Beuno. And it reminded me of Zul :( "

- " Rock Songs playing on the Radio reminds me of ; Nasi Beriyani Orang Kahwin? hehhh ;D "

- " Justin Bieber's Baby, reminded me of my girlfriend, Nur Atiqah ; Iqah. I Miss You :'( "

- " ~~ I know you Want Me, You Know I wantcha ~~ . Gosh. it reminded me of Syafiq & Kak Dila :( "

- " 'Sejadah'. Thank You Luqman for the sejadah. its finally used. For as long as i'm using this sejadah, may Allah adds more 'pahala' to your account. Syukran, Brother. I appreciate it very much. May Allah bless You Always :)) "

as it explains, i wonder why its all about friends these days. it occurs to me that, i truly miss them. "A Friend would do anything for your happiness. A friend cares for you, shows concern about you, advises you, worries about you, teaches you, cry for you ; because, He/ She Loves YOU. "

To All Friends, I MISS YOU. come back wherever you are. Forgive me for all the mistakes i've done. i LOVE you :'(

2010-04-08T23:52:00.005+08:00

Indah Hidup Bersama Ilahi
Artist: Hijjaz

Song Category: Nasyid

Alangkah indah hidup ini
Hidup bersama Ilahi
Kehendak Allah difahami
Pandai menerima darinya
Bijak mengunakan nikmatNya

Ia dianggap ibadah
Semua diberi pahala
Tarbiah Allah berhikmah

Sabar dengan ujian
Tanpa hisab akan diganjari
Nikmat yang diberi
Memudahkan untuk berbakti
Merasai pemberianNya
Itulah tanda bersyukur
Akan ditambah lagi
Nikmat yang diberi
Tersiksa bermujahadah
Kerana ingin menempuh jalan
Untuk menuju Allah
Tarbiahnya Allah tunjukkan

Tawakal kepada Ilahi
Terutama mengenai rezeki
Tanpa ragu-ragu walaupun sedikit
Ada jaminan pembelaan dari-Nya
Bila taqwa pakaian kita
Urusan kita dimudahkan
Kerana kita sudah menjadi ahlillah
Begitu indah hidup bersama Tuhan

Korban harta kerana Allah
Agar berdaulat kalimatullah
Setiap satu kebajikan
Semuanya digandakan

2010-04-08T23:37:00.004+08:00

Dia Kekasih Allah
Album : Jalan Bahagia
Munsyid : Hijjaz
http://liriknasyid.com

Malu rasanya mengatakan cinta

Kepada dia kekasih Allah

Kerana dia insan mulia

Sedangkan diriku insan biasa

Ku pujuk jua hati dan jiwa

Meluahkan rasa cinta membara

Didalam pujian ucapan selawat

Tanda penghargaan seorang umat

Selagi upaya ku turuti ajarannya

Apa terdaya ku amalkan sunnahnya

Moga didunia mendapat berkat

Di akhirat sana beroleh syafaat

Kerana peribadinya aku terpesona

Kerana budinya aku jatuh cinta

Rindu ku padanya tiada terkata

Nantikanlah daku ditaman syurga

Sesungguhnya apa yang ku dambakan

Adalah cinta Allah yang Esa

Kerana cinta kepada Rasulullah

Beerti cinta kepada Allah

2010-03-18T23:45:00.003+08:00

when the environment changes, something new; it produces insecurities.

when 1stly it started alright , a sudden change; it became something overwhelming.

when your supposed forte is being questioned ; why must it even be mentioned?

when you receive stares in which you dont understand why; it spells 'uncomfortable'.

when you know you're being watched ; you ask, "what's up? where did i go wrong?"

when you're being blame for something you dont do; you ask, "did it happen on its own? or was it me being a big fat elephant walking along the alley?"

and when the days are without support; those are the most difficult days (:

well, it just boils down to ; destroying my self-esteem.

never been through this, and never wanted to go through this. but i'm sure, there's 'hikmah' behind all this.

life have been perfect all this while. maybe i forgot what i went through before that. till it blinded my eyes to the reality i least expect, happening. its the reality that i forgot to remind myself of. but, i got to live with it.

i told myself. its not human beings that i want to please. its Allah, and only Him. cos that is the only thing that matters most. for all the hardships i've went through, my motivation was only Him. and Thank YOU Allah for the strength. Thank YOU Allah for opening my eyes. protect me from all bad intentions, and may You forgive them for they dont have knowledge to it. Amin.

may Allah make me realise about things through all the happenings, may He guide me always, and may He bless me with patience to go through these obstacles, insya-Allah, Amin.

SubahanAllah. Alhamdulillah. AllahuAkbar ;)

2010-03-08T21:24:00.003+08:00

http://vet-elianoor.deviantart.com/art/Hijab-133165888

“Sebesar-besar dosa adalah dosa yang dilaQuQan ketiQa Qita rasa berdosa melakuQannya.” Imam Ghazali

Perempuan yang suci

Adalah perempuan yang dijaga oleh Allah

Tidak sediQit pun Allah membenarkanMana-mana lelaki ajnabi yang fasiQ menyentuh dirinyaWalaupun hatinya…

Qerana Allah teramat mencintainya…

Tetapi andai Qita bergelumang Dengan cinta lelaki yang palsu imannya

Di mana Allah untuk menjaga Qita?

Allah seakan melepaskan Qita Qepada seorang manusia Yang lebih banyak mengecewakan Qita.

Jika Allah datangkan kesedaran dalam diri Supaya meninggalkan cinta seorang lelaki yang munafiQ

Itu bermakna Allah mahu mengambil kita kembali Untuk dijaga-Nya, dilindungi…

Mengapa masih ragu-ragu?

Qekuatan usah ditunggu tapi harus dicari Hargailah di atas kesempatan yang Allah beri…

http://www.facebook.com/notes/redzuan-bin-lajis/sebesar-besar-dosa-adalah-dosa-yang-dilaquqan-ketiqa-qita-rasa-berdosa-melakuqan/346734962092#!

" Ya Allah, semoga aku juga didalam lindunganMu. Bantu aku, Ya Allah. Jangan aku jauh dariMu :'( "

2010-02-28T00:57:00.002+08:00

Ya Allah;

jika aku ditakdirkan untuk menjadi seorang isteri suatu hari nanti,

jadi kan aku seorang isteri yang solehah.

yang tidak lupa akan beribadah kepadaMu.

yang taat akan perintah suami.

yang tahu menjaga suamiku dengan baik.

yang tahu mendidik & menjaga anak dengan baik.

yang tahu berlaku adil.

yang tahu tangani masalah.

yang tahu akan tanggungjawabku.

yang tidak akan mengabaikan mereka. yang sanggup berbuat apa saja demi mereka.

yang menyayangi keluargaku sepenuh jiwa.

tapi sebelum itu Ya Allah;

bantu aku dalam menjadi anak yg taat akan perintah ibu & bapa.

yang senantiasa sayang akan mereka.

yang bersyukur akan kehadiran mereka.

yang tahu menghormati mereka walaupun sejahat mana mereka.

seburuk mana perangai mereka.

sebanyak mana kesalahan mereka.

Ampunilah dosa mereka Ya Allah.

Bimbinglah mereka, bawalah mereka ke jalanMu.

Jalan ke syurga.

Adikku juga Ya Allah.

limpahkan hidayahMu buat keluargaku.

Amin Ya Rabb.

2010-02-25T00:30:00.004+08:00

cintai Allah & Rasulullah, sebelum aku.

kenali Allah & Rasulullah, sebelum aku.

fahami Al-Quran & Sunnah, sebelum aku.

aku sendiri belum mengenali. bagaimana untuk engkau mendekatiku? :'(

berdosa diri ini Ya Allah.

belum lagi ku kenali DiriMu.

belum lagi ku kenali KekasihMu.

belum lagi ku mencintaiMu & KekasihMu sepenuh jiwa.

bagaimana tegahnya diri ini mencintai insan lain sebelumMu, Ya Allah?

astarghfirullah hala'zim!

malu diri ini, Ya Allah.

Bantu lah aku Ya Allah.

izinkan aku mengenali DiriMu & KekasihMu.

izinkan aku memahami sifat sifat Mu.

izinkan aku menyingkap perjuangan KekasihMu. izinkan aku mempelajari sunnah KekasihMu.

izinkan aku mempelajari Al Quran.

agar dapat ku mencintaiMu & kekasihMu sepenuh hati.

agar jiwa ini hanya untukMu.

agar hidup diduniakan ini, kuperjuangkan hanya ke jalanMu.

bantu aku, agar tidak kalah dengan nafsu ku, dengan goadaan iblis & syaitan.

bantu aku, hindari diri ini daripada melakukan maksiat yang mendatangkan kemurkaanMu.

bantu aku, dalam menguatkan iman dalam diri. agar perjuangan hidup hanyalah untukMu.

bantu aku, dalam berpegang kepada janjiku. jangan aku sesat tanpa arah. aku pohon padaMu, Ya Allah.

bantu aku, dalam melaksanakan tiang agamaku. gerakkan hati ini senantiasa agar melakukan kewajipanku seperti solat lima waktu Ya Allah.

bantu aku, dalam mengingati diri ini akan kemurkaanMu. Akan Dosa & Pahala. Akan kehidupan selepas Mati. Dalam mengingati bahawa perjuangan ini Hanya UntukMu, Ya Allah.

dan jika perjuangan ini, dikurniakan Engkau teman untuk bersamaku. Aku memohon Ya Allah, bantulah kami dalam menjaga adab kami. kuatkanlah iman kami. dekatkanlah diri kami pada perkara yang baik baik sahaja. tidak mengikut kata nafsu. disemaikan juga perhubungan ini dengan perkara perkara yang membawa kami ke jalanMu. jika perbuatan yang dilakukan itu salah, maka bantu lah kami dalam merelakan agar perhubungan ini diputuskan kerana telah tersesat jauh dari jalanMu. jangan biarkan kami terus tersesat Ya Allah. aku pohon padaMu. aku pohon padaMu. bantu aku Ya Allah.

sedih hati ini. tunjukkanlah aku jalanMu. janganlah aku sesat dari jalanMu. aku pohon, jangan lupa akan diri yang kerdil ini Ya Allah. limpahkan aku HidayahMu. aku perlukanMu. aku perlu petunjukMu. bantu aku Ya Allah, Ya Rabb, Ya Rahman, Ya Rahim :'(

Amin Amin Ya Rabbal A'lamin.

2010-02-24T15:08:00.002+08:00

http://frustratedwasabi.deviantart.com/art/cry-baby-136787656

and i suddenly feel like crying :'(

2010-02-21T23:03:00.002+08:00

"kurangnya iman, adalah pabila seseorang itu senantiasa membuat maksiat"

astarghfirullah hal'azim :'(

Ya Allah. berikan lah aku petunjukMu. Bawalah aku ke jalan yang lurus, jalan ke syurga. bantulah aku dalam menguatkan imanku. Jauhkanlah diriku daripada membuat maksiat. ampuni dosaku sekiranya aku banyak membuat dosa dan kesilapan. kerdilnya diri ini Ya Allah :( .Amin Amin Ya Rabbala'lamin.

2010-02-21T22:35:00.004+08:00

Al-Fatiha

In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful (1) Praise be to Allah, Lord of the Worlds, (2)

The Beneficent, the Merciful. (3)

Owner of the Day of Judgment,

(4) Thee (alone) we worship; Thee (alone) we ask for help.

(5) Show us the straight path, (6) The path of those whom Thou hast favoured.

Not (the path) of those who earn Thine anger nor of those who go astray. (7)

"For, Allah is for everyone but not everyone wants Allah"

hasbi rabbi jallallah
maa fi qalbi ghairullah
nur muhammad sholallah
laa ilah hailallah

cukuplah bagiku kemulian Allah.
tiada dihatiku selain Allah.
cahaya yang terpuji diselawatkan Allah.
tiada tuhan selain Allah.

2010-02-18T23:33:00.002+08:00

back from a 7 days getaway to KL.

baby sitting was GREAT? :D

yeahhh. definitely nice baby sitting Aqil and Qaireen. cute little ones ;))

"i expected it to happen. but who says the world would stop? "

i MISS Muhammad Aqil & Nur Zara Qaireen ; " LOVE "

2010-02-03T08:26:00.005+08:00

"because i just want to smile like how he does :'( "

that promise shall be brought to life.
and i shall do this alone.
if you cant reach me, just wait.
i'll be right back.

i'm EMOTIONALLY disturbed.

2010-02-02T09:45:00.005+08:00

i told myself ; "you'll be away."

but i'll be back when i'm ready.
allow me to hide for a moment.
let things get into place.
its just too overwhelming.
i'm confused.
allow me to heal.
in the mean time, let me 'hide behind you'.

take care all, Assalamualaikum :)

2010-01-09T13:11:00.005+08:00

cos it feels as if the rain is going to pour heavily.
but where do i go now?
a smack on my face ; to just move on and stop depending on others.

A note to self:
you know you want this badly.
you know you wanna be a better person.
you know its best for yourself.
so, you got to move on.
no matter how painful it is to let go.
you cant just keep hanging on to the past.
"and i do this for you, Oh Allah. Guide me through this. I feel so weak. Grant me the strength. Help me control my "nafsu". Protect me from "syaitan". Stop me from falling into its "trap". i only have You to depend on, Oh Allah. Amin."

its painful for me too.

and they call me, "Iay!" .

2010-01-04T12:43:00.007+08:00

and i ended my 2009 with these few people in the picture. just Awesome! ;)

i shall just skip my lunch for this post. it's way too good than food to fill the tummy i suppose (:

i know i'm prolly a bit too late to post about this, but i cant skip it because it concerns the people i truly treasure and love most.

i cant possibly remember what exactly happened in 2009. but i'm very sure that it was filled with equal bits of sweet and bitter moments. i enjoyed every single one of it and 2009 was sure the peak of my life.

foolishness, selfishness, being ridiculous and whatever not, almost made the word "family" lost its existence in my dictionary of life. But i suppose, with perserverance, efforts & patience, it still stayed strong. And i'm proud of each family member. i thank You for all the efforts made, and i thank Allah for all the rezki, health and most importantly, iman, he bestowed upon us. we can never have got through this without Him. it's Him, it's Him who brought us back together, Alhamdulillah :)

FYP, being the hardest thing to cope with in life. i almost lost hope in myself. almost gave up. those late nights, it was the worst nightmare ever. can never describe what it's like, but i definitely never wanna repeat the same process again. its never good. never never good. so future RPian(s) taking FYP, better work hard for it. and try to persevere no matter what happens. You know you Can! :)

thank you to the wonderful people who stayed by my side through out the darkest days. making sure that things are smooth for me. thank you for the word of encouragement, the pat on the shoulder, it sure did wonders to me. YOU are WONDERFUL and a TRUE friend indeed! you know who you are ;))

but one thing's for sure, 2009 brought me closer. closer to something that i've dreamed about since forever. a tiny winy resolution for the year(2009),which then turned out into something overwhelming. something that is exciting, in which i never regret "falling" into. its all nothing but, Fityan Assyakirin. it means nothing but, Allah. Being able to be close to them, to the mosque, brought me closer to Allah. And i thank You Allah, for the path & guidance, and for Fityan Assyakirin for being the 'utusan' Allah sent me :)

well, they was the bestest thing happened in life. the best people i ever wanted to be with. the laughters, the smiles, the tickles, the pin down, the hugs, the jokes and many many wonderful things that we've shared together as Fityan Assyakirin, that was the most brilliant thing happened in life. Thank You for always being there for me. Thank You for all the support. Thank You for all your care and concern. I hope to have another blasting year with you people. let's stay strong together and insya-Allah we will bring Fityan Assyakirin to a greater height. Fityan Boleh! ;)

80% smiles, 20% frowns ; it have been a superb ride. i thank Allah, for having you (:

Me; i believed i became a better person. but with plenty of things within me to mend & correct. Billions of Thanks to Allah for what i am now. i believe, if it was not because of the 'hidayah' He bestowed me on one fine day (in which i'm not sure when), i'm sure i'll not be what i am now. life definitely feels much more meaningful. much more peaceful. though i do feel lost at times, but i know i only have Him to depend on for directions. And i only have Him to turn to, to get on track again. Syukran Ya Allah. Alhamdulillah.

i wish for 2010 to be filled with many many more meaningful events, a meaningful addition to life. nothing but, closer to the one and only; Allah S.W.T. insya-Allah. "Adil, bukan Zalim." that's my resolution. AminYaRabbal'alamin.

Happy New Year people! Have a great year ahead ;D

"cintai seseorang kerana ALLAH.

sayangi seseorang kerana ALLAH.

kasihi seseorang kerana ALLAH.

menjalani sesuatu hubungan kerana ALLAH.

hidup kerana ALLAH.

mati kerana ALLAH.

makan kerana ALLAH.

minum kerana ALLAH.

ibadah untuk ALLAH.

buatlah semuanya KERANA ALLAH.

sebab kita manusia diturunkan ke dunia ini untuk manjalani hidup KERANA ALLAH,

beramal ibadah utuk ALLAH."

and they call me, "Iay!" .

this post was completed on , 06 January 2010.

with love,

isnani (:

2009-12-27T15:28:00.004+08:00

updated on 30 December 2009. despite all the hardships Allah made me go through, i did have smiles crafted on me. With All the blessings Allah bestowed me, With the wonderful cute little ones, with caring family members & friends, with "you", with being touched by small little things, with FYP having its progress; every hardships was nothing. and i thank YOU Allah for "the rainbow after the rain". Alhamdulillah. AllahuAkhbar. He knows me Best :)

Every thing happens for a reason & i'm assured that Allah knows best. Aku redha akan aku ketentuanMu Ya Allah. Moga ini adalah yg terbaik untuk diriku. Kau permudahkanlah urusan orang orang yang aku sayangi. Berikanlah mereka perlindunganMu, rahmatMu dan keampunanMu. Aku bersyukur akan hari hari sempurna & bahagia yang Engkau kurniakan buat diriku. Moga dengan dugaanMu & kesenangan yang telah Engkau berikan kepada ku, aku tidak lupa akan diriMu. Amin Ya Rabbala'lamin.

2009-12-24T15:03:00.002+08:00

kay nisa is being missed. unfortunately, i cant meet her before i go. i seriously got time no more. see you soon love! contact you when i'm back :'(

some other people are being missed too. like khalisah, seri, fatin, syahidah, fadilah, iqah, khairunnisa begum and many many more. wish to see them soon. insya-Allah.

khalisah, i'll arrange for a meet up prolly next week yeah? am so so sorry cos i cant make it this week. will make it up to you ok. thousands of apologies! :'(

time is catching up with me. and i'm sad :(

till the next post, take care all.

2009-12-21T16:45:00.002+08:00

i dont know if i can bear with this any longer.

but if this is the best for me Oh Allah,

provide me with all the strength to go through this obstacle.

Amin.

Thank YOU Allah (:

2009-12-06T20:24:00.003+08:00

ohhhh. Fityan Assyakirin, u make me love you MORE. hearts you people loads ;))

i had a blast at Kite Flying today. never regretted spending the whole day with you people.

love you people always (:

thank YOU for making my day ;D

on another note, CONGRATULATIONS to Abang Ayie & Kak Iza for their Newborn! its a baby Girl! ahh. cant wait to see you sweetheart ;)

visit you soon! take care loves! :D

oh. what a day. i had a wonderful time. alhamdulillah! ;)

2009-12-05T10:21:00.003+08:00

For once, i know i made you asked yourself things.

your stand went swayed.

you had second thoughts.

and i know i aint telling you anything.

5 words for you, "do what's best for yourself".

BUT

without making assumptions about things. Deal? :)

now ; GO GO GO! :D

a thing for you to note is,

it have always been 80% smile(s), 20% frown(s) ;)

Come on. i know you can do the best decision for yourself. i'm just helping. so make up your mind alrite sweetheart? i dont want things to go to waste. you can work things out. i'm sure. ily girlfriend! ((:

2009-12-03T20:28:00.002+08:00

kite flying this weekend. WOOW! :D

my 1st. but i wonder, how to fly kite? aint got any skills. haha. shall just go and have fun with Fityan love. missing you people Big Time! ;)

i'm going to be done with school in 1 week time.

off to 3 weeks break right after.

FYP have yet to be settled.

i suspect that late nights going to be activated soon.

ohh. let's get done and over with it soon :X

i wish to go for an exploring mission.

i wish to go for a shopping spree.

i wish to go for a getaway.

i suppose, now i know why december existed and what it's "function" was.

i'll try to make sure it will be maximised well.

but i'm just afraid that it will be spent on the not so best friend of mine, F-Y-P.

hmm, we'll see how.

but a gateway is a MUST with the beloved family :)

i'll squeeze time for it even if i dont have any.

i'll not compromise.

i wanna be selfish this time.

chey chey!

haha. let's see if i can really be selfish :P

hmm. on another random note, i've not seen Mr Moon for weeks already. BOOOO! :'(

Let us not be a signboard that points to itself. - Ustaz Noor Deros.
don't worry about the people in your past, there is a reason they didn't make it to your future - Mariah Mansor

i dont know what attracts you to me.

i wondered why you're stucked with me still.

never asked for this kind of love.

wished that i was a random someone to you.

that guilty feeling kills me.

aint want you to be in this mess with me.

when others yearns for true love, i'm pushing it away...

cos, you deserved better.

so, with that. run away ok? :)

2009-11-30T12:53:00.003+08:00

A note to a Special Someone (:

Dear Mr Boyfriend Muhammad Aqil Bin Norazam,

now that you're back in KL, do you miss me?

ahh. i've missed you.

i miss your sweet kisses on my cheeks.

your warm, tight hugs.

your flying kisses.

your "kakak, atok, mamam & nenen" :(

your antics.

your laughters.

your dance.

they are ohh, soo cute!

can i have an encore? :D

hmm, promise me that you'll be back here again, one day ok.

or i shall kidnap YOU when i set my foot to KL!

nyehehehe *evil laughs* ;))

learn more things ok Aqil? then you can show it off to me when i meet you again. grow up to be an intelligent, sweet and charming boy who keeps putting a smile on others, alright dear. a boy like you, will always be loved (:

till then, auntie nor, sayaaaaaaang Aqil! take care love. See YOU again soon! we shall play hide and seek together ok! hee! ;)))

" nothing beats having a kid to colour your day. Family are Loved! :) "

2009-11-05T23:13:00.000+08:00

cos ; i hate myself.

2009-11-02T12:16:00.006+08:00

"great companions is all you need to be happy (:"

OHH! i MISS blogging! :(

and and and and!
my STM is getting worst -.-"
*slaps forehead*
i just cant seem to be able to remember things.
disturbs me a lot.

yesterday was nice.
i spent the whole day to myself.
it was called as - "just me, myself & i ; Day".
blissful.
heh.

morning was spent at mosque for Youth aLIVE.
afternoon was spent napping.
night time was spent watching my sister's keeper and nur kasih.
COOL!
;)

somehow. the activities i got engaged in yesterday kept my brain working.
thinking about this and that.
reflecting about myself.
it kept hitting the nail.
banyaknya kekurangan. astarghfirullah.

as a normal human being.

i've always wanted only the positive attitude in me.

seorang hamba yg baik kepada yg maha Esa.

the one who never hurt others.
the one who does the right things.
the one who never does mistakes.

the wonderwoman who can come to everyone's rescue.

the one who does not need to depend on others.

not the "no shame" girl who cries when troubles strikes her.

i'm just sorry if;

i've always been a pain in the ass.

truth is;

i wish i dont have to deal with all of you.

that no one have to be near me.

that life can always be about ME and no one else.

that way, no one will get hurt.

i dont have to worry or fear about things.

oh oh oh.

that phase of life.

can never run away from it.

gahh.

redha.

isnani, redha.

oh wells. i'm off now.

farewell people!

take care yaw.

HO HO HO!

"i know. i'm only halfway there. halfway."

2009-10-27T09:32:00.005+08:00

i've yet have the time to update this precious blog.

will do so pretty pretty soon alright?

take care love! i'll see you sooon.

thanks for visiting! (:

2009-10-19T16:08:00.008+08:00

my favourite pics throughout the whole trip (:

alhamdulillah, am in good health as always.

life's as usual. not too good & not too bad. well, i guess i have my fair share of both.

life still Rocks as always with the wonders Allah brought to my life (:

and i cant deny that the one day "gateway" to kluang was AWESOME! wayy too AWESOME!

despite all the, "eww!", "ahhhhh!!!!", "LIPASS!!", "CICAAKKK!!", "nak kluar! nak kluar! ada cicak!!!", "awak! awak! tolongg!". XD

have to thank my PEST BUSTERS, Fatin, Hazwin and Firdaus for clearing those creepy crawlies up for me. Fatin, Thank You for being my saviour all the time yeah ;D

here's one attraction to that place. THE SCENERY. perfectly BEAUTIFUL! especially when the sun sets. overwhelming! not forgetting my friends whom i call, "LOMBU" (read: LEMBU or COW). veryy cuuutteee (((;

when the sunsets, and night time arrives, tens of stars can be seen twinkling in the sky. winking at you. i cant describe what i felt at that point of time. but it was definitely peaceful :)

candle war marks the climax of everything! the best game i've played. challenging i should say. but we had FUN blowing each other's candles, shouting and destroying one another's base! GEREK! :D

i secretly smiled away in the car while admiring the amazing views around me, on the way back home to singapore. the camera go, SNAP SNAP SNAP. teruja sangat sangat. honestly, i didnt get enough of it. i teared eventually. but hey, i cant stay there forever. and i'm sure there's a next time. 13,14,15 November; HERE I COME! ;D

THANK YOU EXCOS FOR THE BLASTING TIME! ((:

the moral of the story is. after all that i've said & the pictures i've posted, i hope this would interest you to join us, Fityan Assyakirin for our Overseas Camp - "ICUBE" this 13,14 & 15 November 2009! it'd be FUN! trust me. Let's Rock & Roll with the AWESOME sceneries, the COOL, ENJOYABLE & CHALLENGING activities with the company of your beloved friends! i'm sure you'll not regret it! ;D

interested??? for more details, leave a message at my tagboard alright?? FB, HP, MSN also can, ok? thanks love! SEE YOU IN KLUANG!! ;DD

and OH OH! its back to reality. 7 more weeks of school. ohh, please survive! :X

2009-10-07T18:33:00.005+08:00

well i guess its time to update this blog again. no? cos practically, i've been updating it. just that i "fail" to post it. and i suppose i cant deny that having a blog does do wonders! yes? no? hahs. not that i dont have someone to talk to, there's plenty (terima kasih! :D) just that, at times, its best to just keep things to yourself. and..ohh ooh! when that happens, the heart just feels, oooo, not at its best condition. booohoo! :p

at times, things just doesnt go your way. when you hope for the best. when you hope that everything will go smoothly for you. "it" have not been a smooth ride. much more complicated then what i've experienced before this. lots of thoughts came in mind. at times, i wish i can just give up. easier said than done i suppose. its painful. too painful. i wish we can compromise some things and come to a conclusion. at times, i wish i can express things freely. when "takpe" & "nevermind" dont have to enter the frame. and people say "truth hurts". i aint want that to happen. some said, "you dont have to always think about others. you have to think about yourself too". but what is my happiness if others dont achieve theirs? perhaps we are strangers now. perhaps things can never be like what is used to be. i dont know. yeah, it does feels different. it might be because of what i've said before this. just trust me, i do have my reasons to it. every friendship will always be precious to me. too valuable. i just hope for the best. "happy happy selalu (:"

i guess i'm done here. will update again when i have the time, insya-Allah. in the meantime, take care ;)

"Whoever exercises patience, then Allah will make him patient."

MALAYSIA BOLEH! :D

2009-09-25T20:16:00.003+08:00

when there's no worries; a beautiful smile is what you can create

"Ya Allah, sesungguhnya hati ini didalam keadaan yang berduka. ku mohon, berikanlah aku ketengan jiwa. berikanlah aku petunjukMu. semoga perjalanan yang penuh berliku ini, ku temui jalan penyelesaiannya. campakkanlah keikhlasan, kesabaran, kesyukuran didalam diri ini. aku redha akan segala ketentuanMu.Allahu-Akbar."

ok. saya in need of WCP. esok nak pergi boleh? :((

2009-09-24T19:22:00.002+08:00

i know i'm not myself these days.

even raya doesnt seems to be pleasant?

hmm, and i predict the worst gonna start haunting me soon.

things have got to be ok again before FYP starts creeping in.

i'm soo going to be "horrendous" if this dont get better.

please please please get over this soon will you? :(

retreat sounds fun :D

cant deny that, i am excited for it.

however, ummi kinda gave excuses not to allow me to go :X

wait. abi would do the trick, i hope?

abi, please give me the green light ok?

insya-Allah (:

i hope i am getting the hang of things.

i like it this way.

and i hope it will stay like this forever, insya-Allah (:

i guess, you cant get the best of everything, can you?

when one brought a smile on me, another created a frown.

and i think i'm far left behind.

i've gotta agree, that things aint the same anymore.

perhaps, it gotta start with me, to mend things and make it right all over again.

i pray that things would be fine again. patience is all it spells to me. insya-Allah, insya-Allah.

"cos you are loved and i aint wanna lose you & what we had before this."

okay. after years, i'm finally going for raya outings with friends again this year, insya-Allah.

may it streghtens the ukhwah between all of us, and may it create smiles always. Amin (:

Love you friends BIG time =)

one last happy moments before school starts again. eww, i'm soooo not looking forward to it

and... i kinda miss WCP. shall visit it soon before school starts (:

there's plenty more places to go. tapi bila ye? time time time. companion also dont have. sadden-ing, i know. haha. nevermind. sendiri pon sendiri lah. akan ku gagahkan jugak diri ini untuk pergi ye. ok, maybe i can only dream on for now. but, i'm sure i can make it to those places one day. insya-Allah :D

till the next post, take good care of yourself alright people! ((:

“Jika Allah menyukai seorang hamba, Dia akan memberikan di hatinya suatu kesedihan yang amat mendalam. Bila Dia membenci seorang hamba, dia akan menjadikan dalam hatinya seruling kesenangan.”

i dream of you yesterday and i hope you're getting on fine. cos i got up not feeling too good right after. and oh, like finally i saw Mr Moon 2 days ago. as handsome as always (:

2009-09-21T00:40:00.002+08:00

Hari Raya arrived again.

well, it didnt feel like Raya at all.

most prolly because i dont even feel like raya-ing.

Ramadhan left us.

for countless times i cried, for the fear that i may not be able to meet ramadhan again and for the fact that Allah gave me a chance to experience this. all my life, and i thank Allah for the time and companions to my ibadah. alhamdulillah.

this one month is precious to me.

the last terawih and qiyam was blissful.

for this is the 1st; to feel this.

it felt different.

very different.

Fatin, Khalisah, Amalina; Thank You. May this not be the last. insya-Allah.

"Ya Allah, panjangkan lah umur ku agar dapat ku bertemu dengan Ramadhan lagi. AMIN"

Nevertheless, the 1st day of Raya was nicee.

nothing can beat the quality time spent with the family.

teases, jokes; it was all part of being ONE family (:

the kids = sweet & cute!

and woooooooww, the ride on a lorry like vehicle, ROCKS! saya enjoy. heh ;D

Thank You familia for the AWESOME time (((:

with this,

i would like to take this opportunity to wish all muslims;

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI MAAF ZAHIR & BATIN (:

Forgive me for All my mistakes please.

and may this Raya be more meaningful and a wonderful one for you, insya-Allah.

from the bottom of my heart; I LOVE YOU ALL MANY MANY :D

well there was one reason why i suddenly got the mood for raya and enjoyed the rest of the day. thank you for putting a smile on me, YOU, YOU, YOU & YOU (;

2009-08-28T23:34:00.004+08:00

alhamdulillah.

the holy month, Ramadhan; finally arrived.

7 days gone. just like that.

poof.

i wonder what i've done for the past 7 days.

have a used it to the fullest?

masya-Allah.

sesungguhnya, aku didalam kerugian

For once, i just hope things could be better.

i feel lost.

i yearn for that inner feeling/strength to exist.

"Oh Allah, i pray for you to grant me inner strength. strengthen my iman. guide me to the right path. help me, in obtaining the fullest and the best of this month. pull me away from all distractions, other than you, Allah. bring me close to you. protect all my loved ones. may they all be in good health and iman always. jauh kan lah diri kami dari sifat malas agar kami akan senantiasa beribadah kepada Mu, Ya Allah. Oh Allah, forgive us for all our sins. Terima lah taubat kami. Amin Amin, Yarabbal'alamin."

and today's a good friend's Birthday! i hope it's not too late :)

Afiqah, HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY! ;DDD

may Allah, bless you with good health, with good companion, with intelligence, with nothing but the best; always (:

ahh, awak the best lah! thanks for everything afiqah! ;DDD

i hope today was the best too (;

well. i just wish;

tomorrow and the days or weeks to come would be better.

would be wonderful.

would be a pleasure.

insya-Allah.

AMIN (:

satu tanda tanda hari kiamat adalah apabila waktu berlalu dengan pantas;

setahun terasa seperti sebulan.

sebulan terasa seperti sehari.

sehari terasa seperti sejam.

sejam terasa seperti sesaat.

sesaat terasa seperti seketik jari.

2009-08-16T20:31:00.006+08:00

well, what can i say? i had an AWESOME time! :D

dont mention the things that happen on the very friday, before everything started. i guess, its all something that is not meant to be. maybe, something for me to reflect on, why things is not going my way the other day. i'm all flustered. astarghfirullah :X

lets just put that aside. despite feeling worried, feeling all uneasy, alhamdulillah, everything went well. and i'm glad that, each and every single one of the participant was still in "good condition" after everything ended. hand, leg, head, body, whatever it is, still intact. hehe. though, a little problem here and there, i still think, it was a success. thumbs up comittee! :D

one thing that was plastered in mind was, the beautiful views that i came across while cycling, the whole night. the magnificent moon was so near, very near indeed, yet far. it was amazing. macam cookie dah (:

the lake, COOL! the whole tawakal ride was so surreal, blissful. it made me enjoy the night. very peaceful :)

and tell me, who didnt enjoy subuh that morning? it was my best subuh ever. a subuh with all the wonderful people around me. a subuh, with a gush of wind and the sound made by the ocean. a subuh, with the moon right above me. masya-Allah! there's nothing more i could ask for. i wish it could last longer. i wish i could rewind things. i wish for an encore. i cant describe what i feel, but definitely thankful because i was given a chance by HIM to experience all this ((:

THANK YOU Comittee for all plannings made! :D

THANK YOU Afiqah and Kak Dila for administration! For calling the participants! :D

THANK YOU Fityan Assyakirin Excos for all the efforts made! For making this event successful! For the teamwork! :D

THANK YOU Fityan Assyakirin Juniors, Teens aLIVE students, Youth aLIVE students, for your utmost support! for making this event a successful one! much appreaciated! hope you guys had a wonderful and blasting night! and i hope, to see ALL of you in future events, insya-Allah! :DD

ahh, and not forgetting, Abang - Abang and Kakak motor who became out so called "bodyguard" the whole night! (kak dila's friend and farhan) :DD

THANK YOU for ensuring our safety! A job well done! and i hope, you had fun too! it was COOL to have you guys around. dah macam VIP dah. hehe. and not forgetting kak dila and Ustaz also, with car as our "bodyguard". COOLIO! :D

"apa die kak dila?" - "one single file! double yellow line!" - ahah. cute lahh ;D

people! THANK YOU MANY MANY for colouring my life! (((:

AWESOME! :D

apa yang lebih berharga selain ukhwah? (:

2009-08-07T23:30:00.003+08:00

A day to Remember, Always (:

"those were the days, when i feel that life was about nothing but hardships. when there's no way to pull through everything. they were the ones who brightens up everything and make things managable. it was one of my difficult moments. but i pulled through. with them by my side; stayed through with me throughout the sleepless nights, giving encouragements, provides me with a listening ear to all my complains and rants, sacrificed everything to make sure that things goes on fine for me... i appreciate it a lot. millions of thanks to the ONE above - the Al-Mighty, for making all hurdles managable, for providing me with strength, kept me in good health and iman, for all the wonderful people.masya-Allah & Alhamdulillah."

from the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU (((:

sealed with Love, Hugs & Kisses to the Al-Mighty, Family&Friends,

isnani (:

2009-07-03T00:12:00.005+08:00

I LOVE THEM, VERY VERY MUCH! ;DDD

(editted on 5th July 2009)

well, plenty of things happened. in less than a week. dugaan is all it spells to me (:

the experience of being diagnosed as a H1N1 suspect was wooow, amazing but at the same time, scary.

it was a 1st time to almost everything.

1st time to an ambulance ride.

1st time to be admitted to the hospital.

1st time to be quarantined.

1st time to be affected by hmm, as of now i can say a deadly, virus.

since 1 person died in china.

5 hours. it was enough.

enough of being part of the H1N1 chaos and stuff.

what an experience.

ahh, it made me think of death.

it made me feel worried.

it made me feel scared.

it made me feel suffocated.

it made me feel bored.

it made me feel lonely.

but at the same time, treasured too.

alhamdulillah for those people.

thank YOU for being by 'my side' all 5 hours.

thank YOU for keeping me entertained.

thank YOU for all the care and concern.

thank YOU for the encouraging words.

and oh! for getting worried sick too. haha.

"NISA! :p"

ahh, when i thought that it was the end (:

8.02pm.

heartbeat started to become stable after being abnormal or rather,

after beating faster than usual.

fever went away.

was delighted to hear, "you can be discharged" (:

maxi cab to send me off home.

it was, COOL!

"Sir, Thank YOU for that good service" (:

continued to be quarantined till the next day.

3pm,

"your results is negative!"

"so does it means that i dont have to be quarantined anymore?"

** with high hopes**

"yeah! you can lead your life as per normal!"

;DDD

** jumped for joy!!!**

was only out of home @ approx 8pm.

met 3 wonderful girls!

Nisa, Khalisah & Seri

ice cream, sprite, cookies, MOON & STARS!

PERFECT!

one dream of mine was accomplished.

star gazing @ rooftop.

blissful.

great company.

THANK YOU GIRLS! ;DDDD

10.34pm.

one msg received.

"Pls be informed that you are on LOA with effect from today, as you have been in contact with a H1N1 case. Pls STAY AT HOME"

hopes, shattered :(

i was being quarantined all over again.

As of 5th July 2009.

time check:

i've been quarantined for aprrox 5 days 8 and 1/2 hour.

i'm emotionally unstable. mostly grumpy.

errr, mood swing?

i feel like crying.

i feel like going out.

but i just cant.

for the safety of everyone.

I NEED TO GO OUT BADLY, in order to be fine all over again.

:((

hmm, like i told you, plenty of things happened. it did not end there.

but yeah.

i shall not story it here.

closed ones would understand.

its too depressing.

"dugaan, dugaan, duagaan"

redha akan ketentuan-Nya

'Allah tidak akan memberi dugaan yang berat untuk kamu mengatasi'

i believe that (:

errr, yeah. you saw it right.

I MISSS SCHOOL

:((

and i dont want to go through all this, again.

one note:

please take good care of yourself if you dont want to go thru this alright?

take care lovely people!

"FITYAN ASSYAKIRIN BOLEEEEHHHHH!!!!"

;DDD

2009-06-28T12:25:00.009+08:00

edited as of: 30 June 2009

YEAH! ALL the Fityan Assyakirin representatives who played for futsal did great! :DD

WELL DONE! ((;

i know it was a tough fight. and i'm very sure that each and everyone of you have tried your best! well, kite dah berusaha, so, we should be happy for the fact that we've tried, and we did enjoy! the companions at least. hehs. i did enjoy myself even though i didnt play. in fact, i had a BLAST! and i'm very proud of you girls and guys. MARHA MARHA! ;DD

on another note, i've missed Fityan Assyakirin already :(

i wanna meet them SOON! like real SOON! but i'm not sure if i will be able to attend badminton tournament this weekend. ALL THE BEST though! my spirit and soul will be with YOU! chey de bah. hehee.

now that H1N1 is spreading fast, i cant help thinking that i'm having it too. currently having fever & flu. shall consult the doctor later. but that means that i'm gonna have to give school a miss. which is a boo to me. hmm, past 2 weeks of internet server tech was all good. and i want to continue getting that good grades. even team members are POWER! so, yeah, wasted lah that i have to miss one lesson :(

doakan yang terbaik, alright? insya-Allah, i will be fine and that i've not contracted the virus, nauzubillahminzalik.

and oh, before i forget, thank YOU to ALL friends for all their care and concern! nisa, jgn marah saya lagi ok? saya nak pergi clinic lah nie. hehe. and yeah, "you" also, THANKS for, you know what. LOL!. (((:

take care all! and dont fall ill ((:

Oh Allah, THANK YOU for FITYAN ASSYAKIRIN. they are the light, to your path. may it prosper always. and may it continue to give light to other youths out there. give us the strength to continue all our efforts. show us the way. for we only have YOU. THANK YOU ALLAH! (:

"may FITYAN ASSYAKIRIN always be together, insya-Allah! AMIN."

"Alhamdulillah, syukur aku diatas ketentuanMu. syukur diatas petunjuk dan bimbinganMu. syukur diatas rezeki dan nikmatMu. syukur juga buat semua utusanMu, Ya Allah. tapi Ya Allah, janganlah nikmat ini hanya aku seorang yang dapat merasainya, Ya Allah. kau berikan lah petunjukMu, hidayahMu buat sekalian umatMu, Ya Allah. janganlah engkau biarkan mereka sesat didalam perjalanan menempuh hidup yang penuh onak dan duri, Ya Allah. janganlah sesekali mereka terlepas dari pandanganMu, Ya Allah. berikan lah mereka kekuatan, kau bawa lah mereka ke jalanMu. Ya Allah, kau kasihanilah kami. jauhkan lah diri kami dari azab api nerakaMu, Ya Allah. sedarkan lah diri kami. lindungilah kami, Ya Allah. hanya padaMu ku berserah. Janganlah kami terlepas dari pandanganMu. Amin Amin Ya Rabbal'alamin "

2009-06-22T17:29:00.012+08:00

just so you know, a week with Fityan Assyakirin was all GREAT! they are my heart and soul.
for once, i felt belonged, all over again (:

shout with me, "FIYAN ASSYAKIRIN ROCKSSS!!" ;DDDDD

now tell me, what in the world about Fityan Assyakirin is not fun at all? well, the hard laughs i used to have back then is back, and trust me, i laughed very very hard till no sound was projected at all. that's how i happy i was when i'm with Fityan (:

the weekends was reserved for 2 events, bowling and netball. allow me to tell you the story alright? bear with me (:

saturday morning was Myspex launch @ Muis . it was nothing much. a little boring but i did survive. all because of NISA's lame jokes! hehs. wait wait. "MRS SELAMAT WORRR!" . haha :D

the nasi ayam sodaapp ehhh! hehs.

shall not elaborate more, check out the pics! :)

next up was bowling. the 16 of us squeezed ourselves into 2 huuggeee cars after zohor prayers and off we went to westbowl! :D

here comes the funny part. the moment we arrived, me and khalisah confidently followed 2 boys in front of us and sat at the boy's lane. then someone goes, "ehh, nie lelaki punya side. perempuan sebelah sana." -_____-'

masya-Allah! memalukan sungguh! haha. yeah, i was embarassed ok? cos i confidently sat on the chairs provided. i thought boys and girls will all be together. haiyaah. very silly. yes i know. haha.

the 5 girls competing for Fityan Assyakirin! ;D

From left: Siti Nurlina, Khalisah, Amalina, Khairunnisa aka NISA! & Amalina Norazmi (:

well, there was only fadilah and myself as supporters during the 1st set. was shouting non-stop! haha. i was like a mad women. seriously. i think the girls also felt tired hearing my voice again and again. cheering them and stuffs. sorry girls. but i just couldnt keep my mouth shut. hehs. i think, this is the side of me in which i've never shown before. haha. well, i'm used to doing this during NPCC. looking at you girls play made me nervous and excited at the same time. especially when one good news arrived at my ears! shall share later (((:

the 5 boys representing Fityan Assyakirin! ;D

From Left: Fahmi, Hazwin, Khidir, Hazwan & Matin! ((:

ohhhh yeahhh! shall reveal it now. wooooshh! (:

For the 1st set of the game, we hear Fityan Assyakirin's name floating around the air for 3 cosequtive times! 1st place for Asatizah representing Assyakirin was Ustaz Darwis! 2nd place for Boys category representing Assyakirin was the Fityan Boys! 3rd place for girls category representing Assyakirin was Fityan Girls! how can i not get happy you tell me?? I GOT ALL EXCITTED! only Allah knows how happy i was! if i could, i would have jumped and run around the whole space! haha :DDDD

well, the girls sang "Fityan Boleh" cheer right after! see! we're happy and proud to be in Fityan even though we felt that the cheer was kind of like a funny and silly cheer when we 1st heard it during taa'ruf. but that cheer was what kept us going. it was lingering in our ears at all times (:

** a new cheer was introduced to us on the same day. "senyum lah senyum lah ahai Fityan BOLEH!" haha. you think we'll fall in love with it too? let's wait and seeee (((: **

Y.A clan came down tooo! to support Al-Matin larh seyyy! haha! THANKS FOR COMING Y.A CLAN! ((((:

nahh, it wasnt just that. we celebrated Atiqah Lee and Haqeem's Birthday toooooo! like, WOOHOOO! hees. i think Fityan Assyakirin was the "kecoh-est". especially the girls. haha.

lets name the Y.A peeps who came alright? there was, Atiqah Lee, Iqahhh, Noh, Zul, Farhan and Haqeem. thanks for coming guys! really. much appreciated! (:

at the end of the day, Fityan Boys clinched us 2nd place larh seeyyyy! WELL DONE BOYS! and THANK YOU! :DDDDD

girls, i'm sure we had fun! and i know we're contented with just that. WELL DONE TOOO!! ;DDDDD

hmm, i couldnt describe what i felt that day. but i was at cloud 9. that one is confirmed. it was a very very very happy day. and it was the happiest day ever! seriously. well, am proud of FIYAN ASSYAKIRIN representing the BOWLING TEAM! ;DD

had netball training right after. well, i was exhausted. really. haha. had training for 5 days straight. well, i wasnt suppose to be in the team in the 1st place. but got into it because there wasn't enough members. it was hard to make a decision. really. but now, after what happened, i didnt regret getting into the team. i had a fabulous time! and training was very very much anticipated each time we're scheduled for one (:

THE ACTUAL DAY! :D

well, we girls arrived late. registration was at 8.30am. but the bus only arrived at 8.15++am. lucky we wasnt disqualified. got changed, trained for awhile. and we're off for our game at near 10am. khalisah got injured during the 1st game. in fact, she got injured right before that already. but hey, thanks! & great job! (:

we didnt score any goal. but it was okay (:

2nd game, fadilah replaced khalisah to become GD. unfortunately, fadilah also got injured during the 1st half :(

and hey! it was left with me to play. i go like, "woah! really uh?". cos i was the only reserve left. no, i wasnt confident. cos i didnt practice to play GD before this. only played center and WD. and i trained only for those 2. in the end played GD. well, i had to go for it. looking at how the team was, i went into the court feeling all hyped up and bersemangat, to play for the team. i got preeps from umpire tens of times. like, -_____-'. you know why? "GD, obstruction.". like, again and again lahh. haiz. but i didnt give a damn. just continued playing till the game ends. and i had fun! seriously. even though it was scary. to me, one achievement was, i got to "tepis" the ball from getting into the opponent's hand. that, was by far, one achievement to me (:

and again, we lost. but it was okay (:

KAK IJA! OUR COACH!!!! ;DDDDDDDD

3rd game, we lost again. but it was okay (:

you know, at the end of the day, we felt happy. becos we've already won before competing. we're brave enough to be there. we're brave enough to compete, even after knowing that we will lose. yes, we're all 1st timer. but hey, it was the experience which made everything worth it! afterall, Fityan Bolehh larh sey! and we held that up high. we're there. and i know we've ALL tried our very best. insya-Allah, next year would be better. AMIN! :))))

well girls, SYABAS! ;DDDD

ahhhh, this is the team! we got, (from back row, left.) Afiqah as GK, Nisa as WD, Amalina as WA, Atiqah as Center, Amirah as Center, Afifah as GA, Fadilah as GD, Khalisah as GD, Isnani as GD, Khairunisa GS (((:

had our lunch and off to esplanade! woah! best man! the wind, the companion, fabulous! and all the hilarious things we've shared. just awesome! and ohh ohh ohh! masjid maulana was amazing larh seeyyyy! was my 1st time there. and i liked it! cos i tot it was very convenient and clean (((:

well, i know its difficult to be with Fityan Assyakirin. I know i'll get nags non stop from Ummi. I know, school's bringing me down and i cannot concentrate doing task for Fityan. i know i have to go through lots of things. but i do want to be in Fityan. I just hope i could endure every cobaan and cabaran posted to me. after all, it can never be easy, sebab Allah janjikan perlindungan di hari kiamat pada orang orang yg hatinya terikat pada masjid. and i know, i'm not alone in this. many others encounter the same problem. insya-Allah, everything will be fine soon. Lets, keep holding on. Together as One, i'm sure we'll do fine ((:

hmm..

one more thing before i end this to sum the bowling and netball competition.

something i wrote to a friend (:

"never be disappointed about your performance cos deep inside, i know you did your best for the team. Only Allah knows how proud i am, as well as the rest of the clan, because we know, Fityan Assyakirin was brave, and we never gave up. Well, at least i saw each one of us encouraging one another. to me, its the ukhwah is wat matters. Not 1st, not 2nd, not 3rd, but the values that we get behind it is what's most important. you know, i know, public dont know. they dont even have to know. as long as we know our concious well. as long as we're always together in this, through thick and thins, that's all matters. if we win, that's bonus. if we lose, we still bring something back with us. EXPERIENCE as an example. isnt it all worth it? we're in this together. so lets just keep on giving support to one another, do our best and make Fityan Assyakirin proud! FITYAN ASSYAKIRIN BOLEEEHH!! ;DDDD"

Special Thanks to Kak Ija, Kak Dila, Afiqah, Afidah, Fatin, Amirah Hakim, sabrina and many many more! for all your concern and support! very very very much appreaciated! ((:

gtg now.

my eyes are half dead already. haha.

take care and taa's all! ((:

Avril Lavigne's Keep Holding On is a tribute to ALL FITYAN ASSYAKIRIN! :DDDD

2009-06-14T01:14:00.012+08:00

my reaction to almost everything during the whole event -___-''

well, its 3.03am (sunday) currently. gooooood morning people! i'm still widee awake. seriously, i'm wondering why i'm still surviving. i've not had any sleep since friday and i was out the whole day yesterday. err, perhaps 35 minutes nap? by 1030pm yesterday, i was off to help ummi pack nasi lemak for al-mukminin's night cycling [ still in progress (: ] and err, uploading of pics @ facebook too while waiting for the rice to be cooked. hehs (:

i'm sure that all of us who went for qiyam last night are all knocked out by now. REST WELL PEOPLE! (((:

well oh well, friday night was qiyam @ Al-mukminin with Fityan Assyakirin! ;D

i was panicking the whole time. worried about the safety of the Juniors. kept counting the number of people from time to time. kept rushing everyone. rushing for time, the rain, welfare, etc etc. woah. stress. haha.

let the story unfold... (:

the whole group of 8 boys and 21 girls went off from assyakirin to al-mukminin with bus 98. it was...havoc! haha. the girls kept talking and talking and laughing and laughing non stop. the whole journey werent quite. at all. haha. we conquered the whole bus!(:

err, i was browsing thru the attendance list. counted the number of girls. 21. i'm pretty confident that, before we boarded the bus, the number was 22. worried.

reached al-mukminin at around 8.30pm. just nice for isyak prayers. performed our prayers. asked the girls to gather. counted again. 21. erm, where did the extra one girl came from? hmm. either i counted wrongly orr, nevermind. you know i know. weird. very weird. :X

we was pretty confident that the place we were invited to was the auditorium. we just went into the room. turned out that, it was the weekly religious class for teens. hoohaa, hoohaa. we went out of the room at around 9.20pm and proceeded to auditorium at level 1. hmm, the girls was practically hyper. i was putting on myself the above reaction most of the time. aint sure how to control the situation. i only remember telling them about us representing assyakirin and that we should behave ourselves. and, yay! they were all goooood right after ((((:

much appreciated girls! thank you for your cooperation and understanding (:

i know you girls are all excited about meeting one another. i'm excited too. but at times, we have control ourselves. am sorrryy girls if any of you feels hurt by what i've said to you. seriously, thousands of apologies. but i just had to. sorrrryyy again! ** urrgghh i feel bad. very very bad ** hmm, reflecting back, well, perhaps i was noisy too?was i? ahhhh. maafkan saya! :XX

had ice breaking and drawing of house game, right after. the ice breaking game was hilarious! really. my jaw was pratically in pain after everything ended. haha. it was...COOL! (:

at around 10 plus 11, had our dinner cum supper. i know that the girls was hungry. hehe! fyi, the balance of bread for MYSPEX briefing that afiqah gave me for the juniors was sold out even before we reached al-mukminin. some even asked for more. seee, they was very hungryy. sorrry girls! i wish i could have done something. totally forgot that you girls have not had your dinner yet :(

then it was movie screening, laskar pelangi. woahh. it was goooood. except for, on that night, i was not in the mood to watch it. sleepy, exhausted. BUT, after watching the continuation after subuh, i enjoyed it. well, perseverance and determination. sesungguhnya, itu yang diperlukan untuk berjaya ((:

cant really remember what time we ended everything. all i know was, the girls washed up and straight went to bed. though some didnt exactly sleep due to some reasons in which i shall not mention here. i just laze around and occasionally take a look at the girls. at exactly 3, nameera, nadia and myself creeped out of the room and washed up. saw the boys too! with an umbrella. i wonder why you need an umbrella to the toilet aye? puzzled. haha. had qiyam at around 4.30am and subuh right after.

right after subuh, we got ready for continuation of movie screening and breakfast. amirah rohaizad, nameera and nadia went off at around 7am. i swear my heart wasnt at ease when the 3 of them went off. like something was about to go wrong. kept calling nadia and reminded her to call me the moment she reached a certain pit stop. just to make sure that they are alright. alhamdullillah, they reached home safely. ate one epok epok for breakfast when they've prepared for us nasi lemak. nisa's and my stomach was grumpy. haha! aint wanna take the risk :D

practically, that was what it was all about. but hey, the companion was great! i've always enjoyed the moments i had with Fityan Assyakirin. Once again, thank YOU to ALL Fityan Assyakirin for attending the qiyam representing Assyakirin. much appreciated! ((((:

ps: girls, ampun beribu ribu ampun kalau ada terkasar bahasa. minta maaf banyak banyak :XX

but, my day did not end there. i was out with Nisa and Khalisah! :DD

it was an awesome day! really. the jokes and all, it made me forget about my sleep. haha! wonderfuuuuul. THANK YOU Nisa & Khalisah! i enjoyed the day ;)

err, for further eloboration, do read Nisa's and Khalisah's blog alright? i'm feeling very very exhausted already. its near 6.30am.

i'm off now. take care all! (:

"astarghfirulla-halazim. sesungguhnya mulut ini membinasakan hidupku. astarghfirulla-halazim. astarghfirulla-halazim."

- and thus the reason why i choose to be quite -

i LOVE Fityan Assyakirin ;D

2009-06-11T20:58:00.003+08:00

this Bestest Bestest Bestest Awesome Girlfriend of mine flew off to Europe minutes ago for a month! i'm gonna miss her bigg timee. babe, i was in tears the moment you sent me that sms. just know that you're treasured alright? i hope you'll do fine over there. and please, take good care of yourself alright? Enjoy yourself yeah? your happiness is my happiness too. LOVE YA BFF! ((:

well, yeah, last week was rough. but i managed. Thank YOU Allah, for all the friends that you've sent to me while i was down. those encouraging words, the listening ear, the hug, they were much needed at that point of time. thank YOU, FRIEND [i'm sure you know who you are (: ]** capital letter nie. capital letter nie. haha ** , nadia muhamed, afiqah, dayana, khalisah, aunt! your presence was very much appreciated.

would love to share with you something that Afiqah sent me (:

"Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish. — John Quincy Adams " <br>

Thank YOU afiqah! and i hope you'll persevere too alright? i'll always be here for you like how you were there for me when i needed a friend. ** biiiggg huuuuuggg ** (;

you know, Allah's great. really. after all the hardships that i've gone through, in one day, he showed me the way to one wonderful place where i can find peace. in one day, he sent me a companion to share all my sorrows. in one day, he made me teared and realise how 'small' i was all these while and how great HE is. in one day, HE removed all the unhappiness off me. that marghrib prayer i had at HIS home was the most memorable one. ended the day with the sight of a beautiful full moon. Allahu-akhbar! Subahana-Allah! Alhamdulillah! ((:

"Oh Allah, thank YOU, thank YOU, thank YOU! i tear each time i think of YOU. thank YOU for YOUR guidance and for not losing hope in me. Oh Allah, help me, show me the way. increase my iman. how can i ever repay YOU, oh Allah? astarghfirullah-halazim. forgive me for all my mistakes and sins."

i LOVE Allah (:

2009-06-05T14:01:00.004+08:00

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY, FAHMI! ((:

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY, NURUL SYAHIDAH! ((:

THANK YOU FITYAN EXCOS! ((:

buat tiga insan yang paling disayangi dan dicintai;

" Ya Allah, jika ini adalah ketentuan-Mu, seandainya tiada jodoh diantara mereka lagi dan perpisahan adalah jalan keluar yang terbaik, Kau tunjukkanlah mereka jalannya, Ya Allah. Kebahagiaan orang yang tercinta adalah yang ku pinta. Janganlah hati mereka hancur dan menderita lagi. Kau berikanlah mereka ketenangan jiwa, berikanlah mereka petunjuk-Mu, berikanlah mereka kekuatan untuk menempuh ujian dari-Mu. Aku redha akan ketentuan-Mu walaupun itu bukan yang ku harapkan.AMIN."

i couldnt hold it any longer. i finally burst into tears. with that very much awaited 'therapy', i hope to have all the strength to continue this journey. nevertheless, alhamdulillah, Thank YOU Allah!

"sesungguhnya, aku adalah hamba-Mu yang kerdil. buat pertama kalinya, terasa berat yang tidak terhingga ujian-Mu buat diriku, Ya Allah. aku pasti, bantuan-Mu akan tiba jua suatu hari nanti. biarlah ianya berlalu pergi, biarlah lembaran baru dibuka. Aku pohon Ya Allah, Kau berikanlah aku kekuatan. Ya Allah, tidak terhingga kasih dan sayangku buat semua utusan-Mu yang telah Engkau utuskan buat ku. Dengan itu, Kau permudahkan lah urusan mereka. Janganlah Engkau biarkan hati mereka menangis. Janganlah Engkau biarkan hati mereka disakiti. Peliharailah mereka. Amin, Amin,Ya Rabbala'lamin."

2009-05-31T20:02:00.009+08:00

friday's date turned out, hmm, okay.

saturn and moon was amazing!

and to have a chance to take gaze at it was, a bigg challenge.

well, i suppose, it wont be easy to uncover or see HIS beautiful creations?

Thank YOU Allah, for that opportunity! masya-Allah! ;D

Durian Feast with the family was ohhhhhhh sooooo gooooood! ;DDD

we didnt plan it in the 1st place. my aunt made a feast last saturday for the family before she and her husband fly off to Mekkah for their pilgrimage. the place was jammed and packed. the family then decided to laze around at the void deck and continue talking about everything under the sun. ummi saw durians before we reached aunt's place. so she suggested that we eat durians. soooodaapp! a total of $40 spent on durians. my comments would be; WORTH IT! alhamdulillah! alhamdullilah for the time with the family & for the rezeki (:

pictures...

Anak-Anak dan Cucu Yusoff & Rokiah are BIGGG FANS of DURIANS! :DDDD

After the durian feast, me and Nadia made our way to Assyakirin Mosque, to help out with fundraising. woah, the amount raised that night was AMAZING! the number of volunteers who came was....BEST BEST BEST ehhhhhh! THANKS for coming GIRLS! much appreciated! ;DDD

ohh, lets just allow the pics to do its talking alright?

i was having a bad headache, and the best antidote was, a goood night sleep. woke up at 6.30am, performed my subuh prayers and got ready for another fundraising. well, didnt stay long. went off at 12.45pm to meet ummi. had lunch at sakura and got back home with a sleepy eyes. while chatting with a few friends, i fell asleep. sorrry peeps if half-way i was no longer replying your massages. i was 'half-dead' already. hmm, perhaps tomorrow? i shall have a good night sleep tomorrow, insya-Allah!

taas all & take care! ((:

2009-05-28T23:00:00.003+08:00

picture credits to: http://hamkahatta.deviantart.com/art/Sunset-Walk-46218274

i'm all over the place now. there seems to be lots of unsettled task that needs my immediate attention. however, they seems to be 'misplaced' and nowhere to be found. what i'm trying to say is, i'm beginning to become forgetful. eeekss. somebody help! i'm panicking :X

i dont know, but i think, week 6 of school is just not my week. and one day before the school holiday starts, i'm already feeling exhausted. like suuupeeer exhausted. veryy worned out. to the extend where, i actually stare at my computer screen blankly the moment UT starts. nothing runs in my mind. for the fact that i spent a few hours on studying the 6Ps, its really depressing to bump into that kind of situation. maybe, i'm not studying smartly? perhaps, perhaps. zaidah said, "dah nak end skolah pon masih kasi pressure lagi ke?". i feel her, i feel her.

yeah, you can say that i'm feeling down. my heart's feeling very uneasy. it's not at ease. i think the heart's crying. i was hoping that i could literally cry, at least i would feel better. nah, the tears aint wanna fall no matter how hard i try. i need that 'therapy' badly. i need to be ok soon. real soon. come people, come. make me cry. it would do me good (:

hmm, i'm beginning to make sleeping as my daily activity in the train now, on my way back home. the head throbs. the eye's heavy. yes yes, i know i need a break. soon enough, i hope.

i wanna watch movies badly. monster VS alien. night at the museum 2. do i have the time? i plan to watch it alone. what a loner. pfft. someone offered to watch it with me though ( you know who you are :) ) , insya-Allah, insya-Allah. ahh, Thank You ((:

i owe 2 friends my time( wait. i think i have more than that. double the eeks!). shall make up for it during the school holidays. if i have any that is.

since, FYP = busy. :X

on another note, tomorrow's gonna be another wonderful wonderful day with the Y.A clan. now, can you imagine how excited i am right now? ;D

0700-1030pm date. just perfect.

ohh, i saw the sun set on the way back home just now. magnificent view, masya-Allah. a perfect way to end my day. it perks me up, alhamdulillah (:

"you know, the emo me shouldnt be plastered as the impression you have on me. this is just one of the down moments of mine. smile smile macam 'kerang busuk' is even better than sad sad afterall. sad sad is soo not me. i mean, i dont want it to be a part of me. i've had enough of it in the past. and i aint want it to continue anymore. i want a change. i ASSUME that your 1st impression on me was 'smile smile' and not 'sad sad'. so yeah, let it stay as that. i hope to 'smile smile' forever and ever. no, going through life is not easy. but i choose to look at it positively even though i complain a lot. i have my way to make all the negative to become positive. so please, stop worrying about me alright? it pains me to know that there's people worrying about me. i hate to trouble people. that's double the load. like i say, i'm independent & i'm able to self-motivate myself. so, no worries. Thanks friend, for being there! SMILE SMILE! :DDD"

regards,

isnani

2009-05-25T20:05:00.002+08:00

picture was taken from: http://darkmoon108.deviantart.com/art/Bonding-117453285

hmm, "Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events " was AWESOME! ;D

the moral behind the story was good. i enjoyed watching it. i actually neglected my UT revision for the whole approx 2 hours. worth it i guess? (:

i wonder why i was not aware of the movie. was it even in the cinema? hmm...

encore perhaps? ;D

my oh my. i seems to LOVE watching fantasy movie aye? Harry Potter, nanny McPhee, Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events, Chocolate Factory, name it. they are all ohh so wonderful and is labeled as 10 stars movies by me. F.A.V.O.U.R.I.T.E. even though they are all imaginary (things that is not possible to exist). the moral value each movie holds just captures my attention. they are too good to be true. to a certain extend, they even uncover the things that i fail to realise. essential in life (:

i've been yearning to read "Ketika Cinta Bertasbih" & i'm delighted cos i found an online version of it. wonder what it would bring me. another Ayat Ayat Cinta perhaps? (:

i shall start reading it soon. pretty sooon, insya-Allah!

ohh, i'm all over the place now. i know i've got something to say. but i dont seem to be able to pen it down. eeks.

i guess i'm off now. i'm empty currently :(

" the last thing i want to happen, is to misjudge others. " - my bad

2009-05-24T08:02:00.007+08:00

yesterday was spent with Fityan Assyakirin & the Family ((:

i had a blasting time at the Blood Donation Drive! especially with the presence of ALL the Fityan Assyakirin gang! ;D

Nisa's experience was funny! i laughed my head off. haha. "X-RAY! [everyone hide!]". "X-RAY DONE![everyone rush out again]". and oh! "amsyar the clone!". it was very very funny i tell you. haha. and as usual, i'll laugh as well just by looking/hearing other people laugh. Wahdaniah, your laugh is contagious! dah macam Suria dah. hehe :DD

ohhhh, let's get back on track ayee.

hmm, the main task for us (the girls) was to serve the refreshments and (the boys) ushering the donors to the right location. and alhamdulillah, everyone was puntual for the event. yay! THUMBS UP! :D

pictures...

Ahmad Zawawi & Hazrul! (:

Wahdaniah with the cookies! (:

Nisa & Suria with the fingerr looking goood cookies by Fatin! (:

ahhh, the boys. Ahmad Abdillah, Ahmad Zawawi, Fahmy, Zawawi, Firman and the one in orange with specs is Zul (:

the one in Purple is Fatin, Finance Department's Head! (:

they are all packing the cookies for Fundraising. Alhamdulillah, sold out! that's how goood the cookies are ;D

hmm, i cant recall what's the guy in grey's name. but i think, he's Syafiq (:

Nasrullah, Volunteer Management Department's Head! (:

ahh yes. the one in blue is Khalisah. my photographer for the day. heh! Thanks Khalisah! ((:

ps: Thanks too for the help of managing the refreshment booth after i left the event. GOOD JOB! :D

the cute and adorable Fityan Juniors (((:

"Blood Donation Drive"

here's a clearer picture of Syafiq. i'm very sure he's syafiq. right? (:

the girls (Amirah Hakim, Nisa, Khalisah, Ayun, Afifah, Amalina, Afiqah, Fatin, Suria, Wahdaniah) ((:

no, unfortunately, i didnt not donate my blood. it was scarryy. just by looking at the needles going into the donor's veins, i came out of the room with a headache. haha. i didnt know that i was 'allergic' to blood. one new thing discovered about myself :)

Special Thanks to ALL Fityan Juniors Namely, Ahmad Abdillah, Ahmad Zawawi, Hazrul, Firman, Syafiq, Fahmy, Noh, Wahdaniah, Khalisah, Nisa, Suria, Amirah Haqim, Afifah, Afiqah, Amalina, Ayun; Fityan Seniors Namely, Bro Fahmi, Bro Nasrullah, Bro Firdaus, Bro Hazwan, Bro Hazwin, Bro Zul, Bro Hairul, Bro Matin, Ustaz Darwis and Sis Fatin.

THUMBS UP, WELL DONE AND GREAT JOB EVERYONE! (((:

macam Suria kate, "Fityan Assyakirin Gerek!" ;D

Mazita Mohd Yusoff! (:

Nadia Muhamed! (:

Nameera Muhamed & Mazita Muhammed! (:

Suhaila Jenal! (:

Zainab Mohd Yusoff a.k.a UMMI! (:

well, the Family Outing with the girls was funn too! even though we didnt go for karaoke as planned :DD

it was a simple affair and i treasure it very much! its been awhile. all of us seems busy with every happenings in life. i had a great laugh. i'm happy to see each of you. everyone seems different aye? ohh, look at how much each of us have grown. i sure have missed out on a lot of things. i'm glad that each and every one of us are doing great. especially Nadia and Nameera. keep up the great work alright girls? i'm happy to hear your good results. alhamdulillah! ((:

meet up soon? this saturday that is! i cant wait. we'll meet, insya-Allah! :)

THANK YOU, Zainab Mohd Yusoff, Zaharah Mohd Yusoff, Suhaila Jenal, Mazita Mohd Yusoff, Nadia Muhamed and Nameera Muhamed. Your presence was very much appreaciated! ;D

To sum this post up,

Sayang SEMUA many many! ;DD

taas all!

"Oh Allah, thank YOU for today. Alhamdulillah! :)"

2009-05-21T23:18:00.002+08:00

when things was fine, it was being replaced by something new.

now, everything is in a mess.

when i know i'm suppose to avoid, i just couldnt resist it.

when i couldnt keep it going, i feel helpless.

heart not at ease.

i hope things would get better.

i've sinned too much.

please dont go on and on and on.

will you?

2009-05-20T16:50:00.002+08:00

come down to support us and help the one in need, will you? (:

PS: for more information or enquiries, you are welcome to leave a msg at my tagboard. thanks! :D

2009-05-17T12:07:00.006+08:00

ohh, bloggie, millions of apologies for neglecting you :(

alhamdulillah, life's been great. i'm still alive and kicking. it occurs to me that i actually have some free to spare. life's not that busy after all aye? but yeah, rest babe. i need rest. haha. plus, i aint wanna get preeches from ummi which goes like, "kak, dah tukar address ke?".hees.

UTs coming soon. and alhamdulillah, finally, i feel that, i've passed the difficult phase and school's been pretty much fine. i think i've adapted and i now can have some time to rest in class. no longer have to rush for everything except for a day or two's module. i shall not be greedy. what's life without hardships afterall, right?

enough of that, lets get on :D

yesterday i spent my day with 'adik-adik' Fityan Assyakirin & Fityan Assyakirin Exco(s).
yesterday made me nervous.
yesterday made me worried.
yesterday made me wet and white, both plus together, can make jemput jemput or lempeng *quoted from kak dila* (:
yesterday i received hugs.
yesterday i smiled a lot, like 'kerang busuk'. & some people got disturbed by it :D
yesterday was a happy girl!
yesterday made me feel like i was in NPCC all over again.
yesterday i found ME (:

my 1st ever event with the Fityan Exco Family, Ta'aruf session (:

it started off with ice breaking session (:

followed by whacko & duck duck goooose :D

light but effing delicious and finger licking goooood Seafood Bee Hoon refreshment sponsored by Rasa Rasa Thai Seafood :DDD

puzzle Hunt and Muslim Thinker game (:

Drop the curtain (waterbomb version) and Flour Game :D

followed by wash up, fantastic, fabulous, delicious, finger licking goood dinner! , lucky draw, evaluation and photo taking session :D

i had a fun & enjoyable day in Masjid Assyakirin. I got awed by how generous people can be, about Allah's rezeki, about how beautiful the creations of Allah is. I had a great experience. indeed, " kita merancang, Allah yang menentukan" & alhamdulillah, everything went well. to those who came for the event, forgive us if your expectation wasnt met and alhamdulillah if you've had a great day. "sesungguhnya, semua yang baik datangnya dari Allah S.W.T & semua yang sebaliknya adalah datangnya dari diri kami sendiri" (:

Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah!

"Oh Allah, Thank YOU for all your blessings, your rezeki, your guidance, and for all the opportunities to bring me to the right path. Thank YOU for all the friends that you've fated for me to become my companion. Oh Allah, dont lose hope in me. Guide me to the right path always. Amin."

Thank YOU Fityan Assyakirin!

(((((:

2009-04-30T10:57:00.002+08:00

Like finally, i'm having some tiny winy time to blog about the happenings in life. woow, life's hectic. REALLY HECTIC. i've never been this busy for a supeerr duupper loooong time.

every single day is filled with an activity and my day ends at 12am each day. school, FYP, revisions, RJ, weekly log, Y.A, Fityan, they are the comitments that im having now. no, i'm not complaining. i'm really okay with it. i guess i've got used to it. its just for you guys to know why i'll not be updating this blog that much.

1st day of school was horrible. i got my 1st C on the 1st day. i know i deserved it. cos i was not used to the new time table. the time to do all research and ppt are all squeezed, which means i have less time to do everything. and as a result of that, the ppt was incomplete and my team had only 4 slides in total for presentation. but its okay, we did better this week! :D

i was proud of the team. WELL DONE! alhamdulillah (:

2nd day was bad too. but it wasnt as bad as the 1st day. as days passes by and i got to my 3rd and 4th day of school, things got better. it was a relieve. and i'm happy cos i've received by Bs and A. alhamdulillah! really, its alhamdulillah. only Allah knows what i went through. HE was with me. i only had HIM to confide in. HE did answer my prayers. thanks to Ummi too, for all the encouragements. Thank YOU Allah,Ummi and all friends, especially Fatin, for all the encouragements ((:

in conclusion, school's getting better. and i hope for it to stay this way or get better in the near future. insya-Allah!

FYP meetings are almost everyday now. the most tiring day, would be days where we start our FYP from morning till near night time. 10am to near 6pm to be exact. penatt gileer. and yeah, the in the pic above are all my team members. Alhamdulillah, they are all GOOOOD. we get stress and happy together :D

yesterday's 1st meeting with the Fityan was good too. the activities or events they are coming up with seems fun to me. i'm kinda excited for I-cube. ta'aruf too. basically all events lah :D
thanks for welcoming & accepting me into the family (:

and today, i woke up and received a surprise. alhamdulillah, its fever, cough and flu (:
insya-Allah, i'll get well soon. Amin.

i guess that is all i have to say. i'll try to update as much as i can okay? insya-Allah.

taas and take care (:

2009-04-19T20:56:00.002+08:00

"it feels like losing ALL your loved ones"

i yearn to give EVERYONE a hug. a BIG HUG. **HUGS**, people.

- when we can no longer be together -

2009-04-19T17:47:00.002+08:00

school officially starts tomorrow. another "war" would begin, for me. honestly, i wouldnt even want to step into this final league, but looking far ; with positive thinking, its only 160 days. yes, 160 days. 16 weeks but with plenty of breaks. insya-Allah, i can manage. ohh, thanks to today. i seriously need to overcome all those small whispers and have confidence in myself. every action reflects ME. i want to push every single negativity aside. insya-Allah, insya-Allah.

wooow. today was pretty much, "heavy" for me. and there's tonnes to digest ehh. it's like, everything is all over the place. so yeah, i do have that as one of my "to do list" before i end the day. afterall, today's topic was about thinking. my brain also went knocked out after lots of thinking eh? haha. nevermind, like what's learnt today, "the start is always the toughest. but as it gets on, it gets better" (:

talking about "to do list", i still have research to do for my FYP. Final Year Project. aiyoo. scare me to the max. haha. then, i thought of doing some last minute revision. how? you think can finish all in about 4 and half hours time? i hope so. cos 10.30pm, i wanna go watch 'Harper's Island'. i dont care. it's gonna be my last show before school starts. ohhhh nooo.

gooogoogaagaaa, i've got to go now.

ALL THE BEST, for the start of a new semester to All Poly students! may you guys have a wonderful year ahead alright? insya-Allah, everything would be all fine. let's think positive! :D

taas (:

PS: i'm gonna miss Ummi badly. and every single thing that i've done for the past 2 and a half months :(

2009-04-16T19:59:00.003+08:00

i'll miss this very spot, soon.

i can never imagine what the next 12 months would bring me.

but i know, i 've enjoyed the past 84 days (an estimation) very much. life can never be any better. it was the most excellent and '1st class' moments.

i thank Allah for those SUPERB, WONDERWOMAN & SUPERMAN whom have been with me for the past 84 days. it was a wonderful & fabulous journey. the experience was cool. for a conservative lady like me, it was an eye opener. and i've learnt a lot from you guys and girls. ohh, teachers too (not to worry. its positive things eh. hehe).

people around me have been questioning me, "you're not working this looong holiday?". and i've always replied, "NO" with a smile that is (:

honestly, the money from the long working hours can never buy the experience that i've been through. it was precious. no words could express what i feel well. i feel blessed. i can never thank Allah, more.

i've seen a vast change in me. 84 days, and i feel contented. i am going to miss ALL of the moments. i wish, i wish, Allah would grant me all the time, to experience this AGAIN; FOREVER & EVER. Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah.

Thank You to ALL Youth aLIVE peeps, for making the difference in my life. you are all new to me, but it feels like i've known you guys since, forever. Thank you for the companion, Thank you for the time, Thank you for all the experience. From the bottom of my heart, i TREASURE you girls & guys, many many (:

Thank you Ummi, for all your time. Thank you Ummi, for all your smiles and laughters. Thank you Ummi, for all your understanding. Thank you Ummi, for knowing me well. you've been a GREAT mother. Till the end of my life, I LOVE YOU (:

Thank you Allah, for all the opportunities. Thank you Allah, for the the rezeki. Thank you Allah, for allowing me to know you well. Thank you Allah, for fating me to cross my path with all the INCREDIBLE people. Thank you Allah, for EVERYTHING. Alhamdulillah! (:

THANK YOU, ALL (:

i hope, the next 12 months would be all good. and i hope, i have all the time to carry out every single task, resposiblity and commitments to my best ablity. may Allah always be with me. i believe, HE knows what's best for me. AMIN.

year 3, here i come! eeks :X